Drowning
by Ailia Sparrowhawk
Summary: Ciel's infamous freak-out of chapter 34, from his point of view. Mentions of torture, pretty dark. Oneshot.


**The water has begun to trickle in, but Ciel Phantomhive does not realize it yet.**

"Can you not put it in the same league has porcelain mixed with cow bones?" Questions the doctor, who is starting to look to happy for Ciel's tastes.

"That's right; you said it was made from special materials?" Asks Sebastian and Ciel's suspicion raises even more. Sebastian's voice is calm, natural-too natural. Sebastian never talks like that.

"Yes, yes. I can't get them anywhere else but here."

With those words, Ciel's heart starts to falter, and things start make horrible sense.

**The water is now up to his waist.**

"No…way…." Whispers Ciel, and his eyes are way too large for his normally stoic face. His breathing starts to feel labored and shallow; the air is too thick for his lungs, to heavy with the smell of death.

**Cracks are appearing in the dam.**

"This way we don't have to put the effort in throwing them away somewhere." Continues the doctor, taking no notices of the mortified look on Ciel's face. Ciel's world starts to fade away, and the only things he processes is the voice of the doctor, and the cages.

"Don't you think it's the best recycling ever?"

**Now the waters are above his head, and he starts to choke.**

Joker's guilty and horrified look, the look of _he is afraid all the time he is dying all the time there is too much adrenaline take it away _a man who has seen the face of madness and allows himself to be eaten up. The blood of the poor, innocent _you were innocent too and they loved hurting you oh god when will the pain stop _girl who leaped to her death because she couldn't walk a tightrope. The body of a child who the lion _one time they took starved dogs and let them lose in some of the cages oh god they were right next to him _cruelly ripped the head off.

"No way."

_Screams of pain and the suffering and the blood the blood is everywhere you drown in it blood for breakfast blood for lunch blood for dinner_

"No way."

**He's drowning now, but the shock of the water is enough that he doesn't gasp for air just yet.**

__"Gah…." Joker chokes from the ground, "Wha…what did you see us …as…."

"See, only I get rejected like that." Said the doctor, opening a cage_ he would flinch every time the lock opened and he would pray that they wouldn't chose him that day_."As long as they don't know the truth, everyone is always praising me on how wonderful they are."

"But the baron was different," He went on, grabbing a blank-faced little girl _oh god they chose me oh please let me die let me die let me die_, "Searching for beauty was his highest motivation. He sponsored me with an abundance of materials and money, the best thinkable patron."

"Don't you think it's normal _he tried to kill himself a dozen times and they stopped each attempt, punished him for it _to need the best materials in order to get the best products? As for society's idiots are concerned, there is no such thing as success without sacrifice."

Ciel cannot breath. Ciel cannot think. Ciel cannot live.

The doctor set the girl down on the slab of marble.

"A cow's bones are fine but a human's aren't?"

**Now Ciel is burning for air.**

_He screamed as they pinned him to the marble, seemingly hundreds of them holding him down. He turned away, looking for a savior, a murderer, anyone who would make this pain and horror stopstopstop._

"Ah…"

_ "Please someone…"_

_ The knife cut through is skin like water, severing the tendons, carving the names of the cultists on his back and thighs, running along his face and giving him a huge, deformed smile._

"Ah…"

_ "Please…"_

"WHO DECIDED ON THAT?" the doctor screamed, raising the knife.

_"IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO! IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW! SAVE ME!"_

The doctor plunged his knife into the girl.

**Now Ciel is dying.**

"WWWWWWHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAA!" Ciel screams, his fear taking over his body and causing him to lose all though, to shut down, to panic . He sees Sebastian turn around, filled with concern for his Young Master and promised soul, but right now Ciel cannot think well enough to order him to take the pain and fear away.

_"Stop it…."_

He presses a hand to his mouth, feeling vomit rise up within him.

"_Stop it…."_

The vomit leaks through his glove, and even though Ciel Phantomhive DOES NOT CRY he still feels tears at the corners of his eyes, but he doesn't care about his pride if it would all go away.

_He reached out of his cage, searching for a kind face among the sadistic smiles, an angel, a demon, a savior, a murderer, someone, anyone would be better than this, he doesn't even have to save him he can just kill him it would be better_

_ "Someone."_

**Ciel Phantomhive is nearly dead.**

_He reaches through the bars _he extends a gloved hand, dripping with vomit _looking at the faces_ looking at the bright, bright, too bright lights

And someone saves him.

"Young Master." Ciel gasps, caring not about his appearance or ego, but just hoping that this isn't a trick, that he's really here to save him. "Is there something you are afraid of?"

__

"You're outside of the cage right now," Sebastian says, pulling Ciel closer and allowing him to grab the demon as if he were life support, "My lord."

**Ciel Phantomhive is saved.**

"Come," says the demon, because he knows what Ciel wants as soon as the boy can speak. "Call my name." He whispers, almost tenderly, pulling the string on his eye patch.

"Se…ah…" Ciel gasps, trying to form Sebastian's name through the fear and the weakness. His face is close to Sebastian, he holds him desperately, as if you would a lover, because right now Ciel's savoir is the person he loves most, anyone that would take the fear away is wonderful.

**Ciel Phantomhive is gasping for air.**

"Ha..Seba..stia…Sebastian…Sebastian…Sebastian."

Madness needs an intent, and this one has turned to murder. He grabs Sebastian's jacket even more fiercely.

"KILL THESE GUYS!"


End file.
